Is it completely gauche, in the midst of the Cross Worlds, the Lancepocalypse and all manner of other deeply important events, to pause for the half minute it takes to point you toward some of the wares in the RKP store? Our overhead here in this corner of the cycling omniverse is low but persistent, and the warehouse is full to bursting with products of unparalleled quality and soul-nurturing goodness.
Our Cream of Courage embrocation is just the thing to slather over freshly-shaved legs. It’ll make you the best smelling rider in the paceline. Pete Smith at Mad Alchemy mixed this stuff up just for us, so it’s got a pedigree to go along with its complex herbal bouquet. Think of it as the perfect addition to your pre-ride routine, or an acceptable cologne substitute for last minute cycling dates.
And as long as you’re dressing to impress, why not kit up in the latest RKP bibs and jersey? Nothing says ‘wo/man about town’ quite like a sharp kit, and you’d be hard pressed to find one sharper than this. Designed by Joe Yule of StageOne Sports and made by Panache, we guarantee you’ll be 20% more impressively attractive while wearing it (if not any faster). We have all sizes still in stock, including yours.
And for off the bike, how about an RKP ball cap? I have always been uncomfortable with companies who call their ball cap a “podium cap.” It makes me feel unworthy. This cap is just a cap. You can wear it on podiums, if you’re one of those people who wins things, but you can also wear it to the grocery store if your hair’s a mess, like mine is, every day.
I hope you will understand that these sort of shameless appeals to your base consumerist instincts are not the reason we set up our stall here on the internet. But the staff accountant, comptroller and operations team have all recommended we sell more stuff, if only so we can continue to pay their handsome and well-justified salaries. This, it seems, is how the world goes round.
And thank you for your support.
Okay, I’m just going to level with you: My sense of timing is lousy (said the former drummer). I didn’t flash on the T-shirt concept that StageOne developed into a cotton masterpiece until, um, March. I’m finishing a book for entry-level riders right now, if only for the reason that it was supposed to be finished … before now.
I’ve been stuffing boxes like crazy, now that the last of the RKP kit has arrived. If you’re among the readers waiting on bibs or a vest, I can say it’ll be there soon. And when the Roubaix T-shirts arrive next week things will get even weirder.
In a surprising happy accident, Panache produced some bibs for us that were black and white—no blue in them. Because they will go well with almost any jersey (unlike the blue/black and white bibs), I’ll be selling those individually.
So I hope you understand when I say that at some point in the not too distant future I’ll get the RKP kit up on the store so you can order it piece by piece on your own—and why it’s not up there already. For now, you’ll get quicker, more satisfying service if you just drop me a note with what you’d like to order.
In the meantime, all I’d really like to do is write about my favorite edition of the Tour of Flanders.
The pieces available and pricing:
Jersey with blue bibs—$235