The Naming of Names

The Naming of Names

With all due respect to the great Ray Bradbury, one of my favorite aspects of Bike Monkey’s Wente race was how creative people’s efforts were at naming their teams. You see, in addition to the standard array of solo riders, Bike Monkey allowed various combinations of two- and three-rider teams. Some folks really put their backs minds into this and honestly, they deserve a little love for it. I’ve included the good ones below and just couldn’t keep from commenting on them.

Two Person Coed
Dirt Rituals (we all have them)
Salty Skids (they weren’t the only ones)
Taint Gonna Stop Us (let’s hope not)
Zwei Mäuse (Team Roaring Mouse had a big contingent and get points for not going with the obvious)
Fork Yeah Chicken and Waffles (duh)
Not Going Solo (this works on so many levels)
92 Percent Match (if you’ve done any online dating …)
Mission Improbable (given how hard this race is)

Two Person Men
Ridrup (they finished fourth in the category, with 11 laps, so they passed a lot of people)
Every Berm Is Sacred (for the Monty Python fans, plus a nice nod to course creator Kevin Smallman)
2 Dudes 4 Top Tubes (I’d like to know if they did laps on both a full-suspension rig and a hardtail)
Sufferneaux Fools (perhaps they are from N’awlins?)
Folsom Breakouts (it’s too bad their town is best known for a prison; I hear there’s some good riding)
Retrotec Old Guy Development (maybe next time Curtis will just call it ROG Devo)
Harbingers of Doon (as in Bonny Doon, down Santa Cruz way)
Just the Tip (not explaining this)
Two Beards Racing (yes, both dudes have beards)
Just a Flesh Wound (one can hope)
Hot Mambas (this gets better in a sec)
Trembling Members (not explaining this one either)

Two Person Singlespeed 
We Wear Short Jorts (I cannot confirm this)
Sourdough Sam and the Gold Rush (representin’ for the Western Sierra)
Sweatpants Stiffy (who needs a tent?)
Dingle Dongle Donkey Fondle (I don’t want to know)

Two Person Women 
Wander Women (they stayed on course, to win)
La Gringa Y La Mexicana (diversity, yo!)
Keep Calm and Liv Onne (I’m so glad this wasn’t Team Giant p/b Liv bikes)

Three Person Coed 
Spicy Sycips (it’s a nearly perfect palindrome)
Bottomless HipHopApottamus (sounds like a party to me!)

Three Person Men 
Bonk Brothers (I’m sure it’s a big family)
We’re Older Than You (age and experience will overcome)
Here for the Beer (priorities, amiright?)
Beers and Gears (does it get better?)
Two Old Bruins and a Lion (college affiliations die hard)
Nerf Herders (I bet they were scruffy, too)
Big Al’s Peanut Cobbler (sounds yummy)
Chafing the Dream (they weren’t the only ones)
Two Tall One Short (are we talking riders or drinks?)
Slow AF (they finished last in the category; there’s something to be said for truth in advertising)

Three Person Women 
Women Who RRROAR (they won)
The Do Gu Dolls (they weren’t the only ones)
Hot Mamas (see, I told you—they’ve got to be connected)
Penguin Peddlers (I’d have bought one)
Soggy Bottoms (just for a very different reason)
3 Dirty Damsels (they knocked out seven laps, so that “damsel” thing is just a ruse)
Tres Diablas (sounds legit)
Riding With a Ginger (why not?)
DFL the Comeback! (except they were still DFL)

Final thought: Anyone whose team name subscribed to the [company name] p/b [company name] format deserved to be docked one lap … per sponsor.


Image courtesy Bike Monkey

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  1. Tominalbany

    My friends and I used to love going through the intra-mural squad names back in the day. That eventually moved on to fantasy sports team names. The well of creativity is endless in this category.

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