You probably didn’t expect your 15 minutes of fame to go this way.
I can understand that maybe you didn’t think anyone would disagree with you, that you wouldn’t be called a porn star, that you wouldn’t lose your position as a volunteer police officer, that there was any chance at all you’d receive a death threat (or two).
Kinda sucks, doesn’t it?
Before I go any further, I should probably level with you. I’m one of those spandex-wearing cyclists you’d prefer dead. And while you probably think that I lack any semblance of manhood, any right to live, I do what I can to serve as a rational voice within our ranks. I’m often an iconoclastic devil’s advocate, sticking up for ideas not because they are popular, but because they make sense, are the right thing to do.
Right now, hundreds, if not thousands, of my readers around the world are screaming at their monitors, afraid that I’m about to extend you sympathy in your time of dejection. Yeah, well that’s not gonna happen.
Frankly, you had it coming.
Are death threats okay? Nope. Was having the Bike Snob call you a porn star a vote for diplomacy? Not exactly. Were the many other insulting and often vile names you were called accurate? Probably not. Was it understandable given your video? Absolutely.
There are those among us who think that insults based on your hair color or the fact that you’re a woman should be off-limits. I’d agree had you engaged in something approaching enlightened discourse. However, because you trade on your looks people will go after you for them, and your gloves-off death threats and speculative delight for hitting cyclists disqualified you from any vestige of Internet etiquette.
Your screed (yeah, it’s still on teh Interwebs) proved you a bottom-feeder and if there’s any place where the rules are off, it’s the Internet. The mob rules (cue the Black Sabbath). Well, almost all the rules. If you noticed, no one went after you for being a (self-confessed) very bad Jew. Some things really are sacred.
Except for your regard for your fellow man.
That every member of the Santa Paula Police Department didn’t immediately and completely rebuke you for being a completely useless waste of life is troubling. But don’t worry. Even as I type this, I’m certain someone is organizing a boycott of all Santa Paula businesses. That’s how these things go. Restaurants across town will remember your name long after the rest of the cycling world has forgotten it.
Oh, and congratulations on issuing an apology that only further angered cyclists the world over. I know you think we’re stupid, but cyclists are, generally speaking, smarter than your average porn star, which, judging from your photos, may or may not include you. We’re clear that your video wasn’t satire and we don’t believe you’re sorry.
Look, I’m not insensitive to the fact that some cyclists ride like complete sacs de douche. I’ve been driving a car and witnessed people of my chosen tribe doing things that didn’t just embarrass me, they angered me. However, your completely idiotic tirade against all people on bikes inspired a vitriolic response that was completely predictable given that you think deliberately hitting cyclists is okay.
My only advice going forward is to be careful at lights. Road rage is proving to go both ways. It wouldn’t surprise me if someone pulled you from your pickup and gave you a taste of what you fantasize about. Not that it’s okay, but the race to the bottom is never finished. You simply led the last lap. If we want to engage a more intelligent discourse about how cyclists share the road with cars, people like you need to shut the fuck up.