Staying Handsome, Staying True

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Is it completely gauche, in the midst of the Cross Worlds, the Lancepocalypse and all manner of other deeply important events, to pause for the half minute it takes to point you toward some of the wares in the RKP store? Our overhead here in this corner of the cycling omniverse is low but persistent, and the warehouse is full to bursting with products of unparalleled quality and soul-nurturing goodness.

19167646Our Cream of Courage embrocation is just the thing to slather over freshly-shaved legs. It’ll make you the best smelling rider in the paceline. Pete Smith at Mad Alchemy mixed this stuff up just for us, so it’s got a pedigree to go along with its complex herbal bouquet. Think of it as the perfect addition to your pre-ride routine, or an acceptable cologne substitute for last minute cycling dates.

And as long as you’re dressing to impress, why not kit up in the latest RKP bibs and jersey? Nothing says ‘wo/man about town’ quite like a sharp kit, and you’d be hard pressed to find one sharper than this. Designed by Joe Yule of StageOne Sports and made by Panache, we guarantee you’ll be 20% more impressively attractive while wearing it (if not any faster). We have all sizes still in stock, including yours.

And for off the bike, how about an RKP ball cap? I have always been uncomfortable with companies who call their ball cap a “podium cap.” It makes me feel unworthy. This cap is just a cap. You can wear it on podiums, if you’re one of those people who wins things, but you can also wear it to the grocery store if your hair’s a mess, like mine is, every day.

I hope you will understand that these sort of shameless appeals to your base consumerist instincts are not the reason we set up our stall here on the internet. But the staff accountant, comptroller and operations team have all recommended we sell more stuff, if only so we can continue to pay their handsome and well-justified salaries. This, it seems, is how the world goes round.

And thank you for your support.

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15 comments

  1. Bryan Lewis

    Dang, Robot, you’re good at the soft sell.

    I highly recommend the wool socks. Even with the shipping cost they’re not all that expensive. They feel good, and I feel good knowing that the bottoms of my feet say “To Suffer Is to Learn”. I can check in with my sole when I’m resting at the top of an epic hill.

    Okay, that’s enough coffee for me today.

  2. Souleur

    been waiting for spring/summer socks, any in the works?? Of course, with a nice stripe up the back of the achilles…maybe?

  3. Robert Borchert

    Hey, this is a sharp looking kit! The “ball” cap looks nice, but those things just don’t work when riding. Well, the pilots among us will tell you, a “podium cap” is an IFR hood when it comes to cycling. Off the bike, it works- and does look stylish, I must admit.

    Any plans for an RKP long sleeve wool jersey?

    1. Padraig

      Bobgade: Cream of Courage is a mellow on the Mad Alchemy scale. For frequent users of embro, it barely registers any heat, but for anyone who may only use an embro occasionally, it’s got a nice kick that can last a good four to five hours.

  4. Steve Schubauer

    I’ve been sporting the RKP cycling cap for about a year now.
    I am probably 20% more handsome as a result. Have yet to find that “chicks dig it” though…
    T-shirt is comfy as well.
    Sign me
    “F*#ing Steve”

    1. Padraig

      We’re averaging a 21% improvement in reader appearance. We may have underestimated the good we’re doing in the world.

      My next post will be, “A Better You in One Kit.”

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