The First-Ever RKP Contest

Red Kite Prayer has been around almost two-and-a-half years. In that time any proper corporate media conglomerate would have had at least a half dozen toothless contests to determine the next toothpaste Fabian Cancellara should use. We’ve avoided that urge, but not because we think we’re smarter than they are. It just never occurred to us to have a contest.

Maybe we’re not all that smart. Please do us a favor: Don’t consult our wives. They’ll confirm that for you and shred what little ego we have left.

So here’s the deal—We need a new name. No, not a new name for the blog, we like that just fine. We need a name for a little adventure we’re going to have. Late next summer RKP is going to host its first-ever reader event. We’re headed to New England where we’re going to ride some dirt roads, eat some fantastic food, enjoy some time with a special guest or two and make some new friends. As we’re still nailing down a few details, we’re not ready to make a proper announcement just yet.

In the meantime, this thing needs a name. It’s going to be large-scale fun in a location that is one of cycling’s undiscovered gems. And, frankly, if this one goes half as well as I imagine it at night when I wait for sleep, we’re going to have to do it again. In that place and others.

Here are a few other details: Seven days, six nights and only 20 spots for riders (there will be room for family). Ballpark price of $2500.

Robot and I have been texting ideas back and forth. Our musings have yielded Red Kite Player, Ronde van Red Kite, Red Kite Revenge, Tour du Kite, Prayer Week and Seven Days of the Kite. I think we were on the right track, but this would be so much more entertaining with the addition of some more horsepower. So we’re turning to you, dear readers. Name this thing. Come up with something awesome to help point out its impending awesomeness. Something that makes you want to attend. Any of those above are still game as well; if you like one, feel free to nominate it, or tweak it.

Robot, Pelkey and I will determine the winner with the aid of a secret military junta. There will be no recounts. Our choice will be entirely subjective. And final.

As the outcome will be entirely arbitrary, so will the length of the contest. We’ll call it a day when we stop seeing good entries, so act quickly. That should see us through to at least Tuesday.

The winner will receive a “To Suffer Is To Learn” T-shirt and an RKP cap.

Cast your vote in the comments section. Comments of “+1” could potentially sway the judges.



  1. Dr Rob (@doc_robert)

    “Les Mille Flammes Rouges” – or the ride of a thousand red kites. Reckon you’ll knock over a grand in a week with all those microbreweries in the way? Easy for me to say with my Metric system!

    1. Author

      Ooh. I like ’em all. I’d considered “The Red Kite Rendezvous” but forgot to include it on the list—I dig this new spelling.

      This is gonna be fun. Keep ’em coming!

  2. randomactsofcycling

    as this is the initial ride of what might be many, you could simply call it “The Establishment”,
    otherwise…how about the “X (insert number of days/Cols) Stations of the Kite” ?

    I’ve gotta start saving $$ for this!

  3. velomonkey

    New England – Dirt Roads -come on, you gotta have an original name – and I can’t really work in Red Kite into it – so how about

    The Swamp Yankee Ride

  4. Sam

    Red Kite Ramble.

    Has a nice, less overtly racy ring to it. Sounds appropriate for a week of northeastern dirt road riding, quality eating, and new-found friends.

  5. Steve

    Red Kite Rally.

    When I was a Cub Scout we used to do bike rallies each year where we’d ride around some parking lot learning tricks and techniques. When we were finished we drank sodas and compared road rash. So it seems to me that this is essentially a grown up version of the same. By any name I’m sure it will be quite memorable!

    1. Author

      Chromatic Dramatic: We plan to live well for that week. If for you living well includes stuff like both bikes and drinking micro-brewed beers at the restaurant in which they are crafted, you could say: D, all of the above. And thanks for playing along. Half the fun here is just seeing what folks have to say!

      Keep ’em coming.

  6. Ed

    It’s New England, so how about using “Wicked Pissah” in there.
    Red Kite Prayer Wicked Pissah Week – RKP WPW
    Red Kite Prayer Wicked Pissah Ronde -RKP WPR

  7. tyler boucher

    Red Kite Flyer.

    As in, “On a Red Kite Flyer” (breakaway). Can also be used to describe a person who participates in said event, a so-called flyer of the Red Kite.

  8. Chris

    Red Kite Liturgy (a series of prayers!)
    Red Kite’s Prayer Cycle
    Hell of the North East
    s’échapper (to break away) or the noun form Échappée
    The corsa rosso (red, instead of pink, of course)

  9. Everett

    Tour de Flamme Rouge (TdFR)

    Seven days of Red Kite and Courage

    And while all of them sound awesome, I’ll probably hold out for the west coast edition

    California Kite’n

  10. C. Spencer

    Red Kite Revival: The First Awakening

    “The First Awakening” could change with subsequent rides, but refers to the religious movement that swept colonial America in the early 18th century. Cheers and THANKS for doing what you do!!

  11. The_D

    “Tyler Perry Presents ‘Your Red Kite Prayers are Answered,’ starring Tyler Perry as all 20 Riders(*)”

    * – Tyler Perry Not Included

    PS, I bet you could get a little, you know, sponsorship, if you called it this.

    PPS, region-specific variants include “Denis Leary’s Wicked-Awesome Red Kite Roller Party,” and “Colin Quinn’s Ride Back from Brink of Irrelevance, presented by RKP.”

  12. Chris S

    My suggestions:

    In Italian, ‘tour of the red kite’ could be ‘Giro il Nibbio Reale.’ I like this one because in english it looks like there will be lots of snacking. Nibble real.

    In Dutch, ‘tour of the red kite’ could be ‘Rond de Rode Vlag,’ ‘Rond de Rode Wouw,’ or ‘Rond de Rode Vlieger.’ My favorite name though, which is also in dutch, is ‘Zeven Rode Vliegers,’ or ‘Seven Red Flags.’ I just think that the initials ZRV could look awesome advertising this thing. RKP’s ZRV.

    1. Author

      I tell ya, these entries have been a lot of fun to read. Some really creative stuff you all are dreaming up.

      I see no reason to shut this down just yet. Keep ’em coming!

  13. Souleur

    because my mind continues to work
    -RKP arrive’
    -the dirty dozen…or so
    -Red Kites Be on a Strada (play on words), strada in my mind means one thing in cycling but nicely translates also into italian for many meals, i am told. I thought it was white roads that kill, but who knows?

  14. James

    How about “NEWT”… New England With Tights, or New England Wheeled Trauma. Or in the Red Kite vein…how about Le Tour du Flamme Rouge (not sure about the French spelling).

    Sounds like fun however you name it!

  15. ringcycles

    The Red Kite Suffer Fest

    or given the likely participant demographic, the Red Kite MAMIL Hunt (middle aged men in lycra)

    1. Author

      The split between the terrific stuff and the stuff that makes me LOL has made it difficult to cut this contest off.

      That said, I think we give it until noon (Pacific) tomorrow. Please keep ’em coming; this is almost too much fun.

  16. The_D

    1) Seven Days in August (oblique RFK reference = dbl entendre points)

    2) Ride to Avoid Distracted Parents Moving Their Precious Children into Exclusive Dormitories, (“RADPMTPCIED”)

  17. RUV

    Padraig- awesome! The PV has a special place in my heart. Hope a trip to Bub’s is in the equation somewhere! Looking forward to hearing more details!

  18. Randy Lovelace

    Ok…here goes
    Noun: Lively and noisy festivities, esp. when these involve drinking a large amount of alcohol.

    The Red Kite Revelry: A Week of Cycling Revelry in the great Northeast featuring great rides, belgian beer, celebrating all things cycling.

  19. neurobe

    Red Kite Free Wheel
    (big in New England)
    (the “Red Kite” will get dropped, and it will become known worldwide simply as the Free Wheel

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *