Genius Stocking Stuffer Ideas

I sometimes wonder if Superman forgets that he has all the superpowers he has: flight, strength, speed, half a dozen kinds of “vision,” freeze breath, heat breath, really really good hearing, invulnerability, and great lung capacity.

Seriously, it must be confusing sometimes to know which superpower to use when he’s fighting crime? The X-Ray Vision and flight? Or maybe super speed, heat breath, and just a skosh of super strength?

And then, later, in the privacy of the Fortress of Solitude, I wonder if he smacks his super palm against his super forehead and exclaims, “heat vision! I forgot all about the heat vision! I could have solved the whole thing in half the time if I hadn’t forgotten about my heat vision!

The reason I wonder this about Superman is because I am subject to exactly this malady. I have so many superpowers that I sometimes forget about them. Recently, for example, I have completely forgotten about one of my most obscure — but still exceptionally awesome — powers: the ability to select ridiculously good gifts.

But yesterday my gift-discernment superpower (an obscure but well-regarded power) manifested itself in a big way. I thought of two incredibly great gift ideas. And now I’m going to tell you about them, so you can take appropriate action.

Gift Idea 1: Something Every Cyclist Needs

I spent a big chunk of yesterday afternoon shopping for gifts for my kids. After a couple hours of this, I realized that I had arrived at an important point: I either needed to take a break from shopping or gouge my eyes out.

So I went to Home Depot. You know, just to hang out for a few minutes, browse the aisles. For fun. C’mon, you know you do the same thing sometimes.

Anyway, as soon as I went in, I saw something I immediately knew every cyclist in the world would want, and that — likely — very few would have. And it was only $8.00, making it an even better gift.

Behold:

zipties.jpg

Yep, 650 zipties, in 3 different sizes. When combined with a six-pack set of duct tape rolls, you are effectively giving the gift of the ability to fasten anything to anything in a more-or-less permanent fashion.

And that’s close to a superpower itself, when you think about it.

I know, I know. It’s not exactly the most aesthetically pleasing gift in the history of gifts. But I guarantee it’s one they’ll use. And the first time they need it, they will have a Class 3 Epiphany that you are the best gift-giver they have ever met.

Gift Idea 2: The Gift Every Computer Owner Wishes For But Can’t Afford

The fact that you’re reading this blog entry leads me to conclude that you have access to a computer. And the fact that you have access to a computer makes me suspect that you probably use a digital camera for your photos. And the fact that you have a computer and take digital pictures leads me to suspect that you probably wish you had some really awesome photo editing software.

You know, like Photoshop.

The thing is, though, Photoshop’s expensive. Like $699 expensive, which is very nearly $700 (but not quite, thanks to very clever marketing folks at Adobe). So you probably don’t have it.

But — starting right now and going through Tuesday — you have a chance to win a brand new copy of Photoshop CS4 (retail box, never opened, your choice of Windows or Mac), while at the same time donating money to the Lance Armstrong Foundation via my friend Bob’s Fundraising Page.

Check it out:

photoshop.jpg

Yup, donate $5.00 on Bob’s page and you get a virtual raffle ticket toward the drawing Tuesday. And if you win and want the Windows version, I’ll ship it to you overnight so you get it by Christmas (if you want the Mac version or prefer Photoshop Extended you’ll have to wait a bit longer). The more you donate, the better your chances of winning. So click here and go donate at Bob’s page now.

Oh, and also it’s a good chance to do something good — you’re fighting cancer, even as you acquire the means to digitally remove your love handles (which I would never do). And Photoshop would make an awesome Christmas gift.

Though I wouldn’t blame you if you kept it for yourself.

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