The Velveeta Dilemma

I have a very, very important ethical dilemma I want to talk about today, but first I want to answer a couple of questions many people have been asking about Team Fat Cyclist: Fighting for Susan (“Team Fatty” for short).

  1. Where’s it going to be? A lot of you have asked, “Which event / challenge will Team Fatty participate in: San Jose, Seattle, Philly, or Austin? The answer is: All of them. We’re going to win the Team awards for all four separate events, and then, when they combine our team size and money raised, we’re going to win the overall, too. (By the way, I’m not just making this up; I checked with LAF to make sure we can do this.)
  2. If you can’t attend the event, can you still be part of the team? You bet you can. You’ll be able to sign up as a volunteer and still help raise money for the team. The most important part of being part of Team Fatty is not about being at the event. It’s about working together to fight cancer (and it’s also about kicking all the other teams’ butts, too). As for myself, I hope to attend all the events (but also have to be honest with myself and admit circumstances might prevent me from attending some — or even any — of them).
  3. What If you don’t — or someone who wants to join with you doesn’t — ride a bike? You can still join. There’s a run/walk option.
  4. What if you’re already committed to a LiveStrong team? I suggest you stay on that team and work hard for it. I don’t want to poach anyone. That’s not what this is about.
  5. What does the money you raise in the LiveStrong Challenge do? It does a lot. A lot of people have been asking me why I’m a big fan of the Lance Armstrong Foundatiion. Sometime next week, I’m going to go into specifics.

Expect more details as I figure out what the heck I’m talking about.

I’m Going to Need Some Help On This

Since I announced that I’m going to form Team Fatty, I have received a lot of email. All of it’s been helpful, and a huge amount of it’s been extremely generous. In fact, I think you’re going to find it pretty exciting what you might win by either joining or contributing to Team Fatty.

The thing is, right now I can’t handle all of this. I’m waaaaay behind on my replies and it’s getting worse. (People who have written to me already: please be patient and I’ll try to get back to you this weekend, events permitting.)

It’s almost as if I’m trying to maintain a job, take care of four children, take care of a sick wife, write a blog, and manage a big event/contest, all by myself.

I need some help from a few people who are willing to keep track of prizes, keep track of registration, and keep track of the four Team Fatties. If you’re willing to help me out, email me with what you’re good at.


The Velveeta Dilemma

One of the most difficult chores I have is finding foods that Susan will eat. Nothing really sounds good to her.

Except for one thing: Scrambled Eggs, prepared using my Grandma’s recipe. Susan has those every day. Because they are incredibly delicious.

The thing is, Grandma’s Scrambled Eggs are easy to prepare. Ridiculously easy, in fact. But until Susan got sick, I haven’t made them, ever.

Why? because Grandma’s Scrambled Eggs use Velveeta Cheeze. And I just couldn’t bring myself to buy or use Velveeta. I just couldn’t. Cheese shouldn’t be shaped like that. It shouldn’t taste like that. And it for sure shouldn’t be textured like that.

Velveeta, as far as I was concerned, is useful only as fish bait.

Now, I am not a foodie. Far from it. But still: Velveeta Cheeze is just gross.

Still, when I racked my brain trying to think of something soft and warm and comforting for Susan to eat, I thought of my Grandma’s Scrambled Eggs — just regular scrambled eggs, but with a little Velveeta instead of cheddar — and how nobody could resist them.

So I swallowed my pride and bought Velveeta for the first time in my life (I don’t fish a lot). And of course, the scrambled eggs turned out wonderfully. Warm, fluffy, mellow, and perfect. I make them for Susan every morning. And what she doesn’t eat, I finish off. And the kids, who don’t know any better, love these scrambled eggs without even having their irony alarms going off.

Which leaves me with a dilemma: how am I supposed to accept this new reality, this horrible, horrible truth? It pains me to say it, yet I know it is true:

Velveeta is a new staple at the Fat Cyclist household.

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