A Note from Fatty: I’ve got a new article in BikeRadar today. You can read a snippet below, or click here to read the whole thing.
As a cycling aficionado, you no are no doubt anxious to demonstrate your commitment to the sport, even when you are not on the bike. “But how,” I hear you ask, “can I show my absolute dedication to the cycling lifestyle, hopefully to the extent that my family, friends, and coworkers will begin to cast sidelong glances at me and eventually take me aside and tell me they’re worried about the direction my life seems to be heading?”
The simplest and most obvious way to make it clear to all and sundry that you love biking beyond all rational reason is to wear a helmet, 24 hours a day. Nothing says, “I am always ready for a ride’ like wearing a helmet to a business meeting, to church, or to an exclusive restaurant. Inexplicably, however, this is frowned upon in polite society.
The next-best way to visibly demonstrate your alignment with the cycling lifestyle, then, is to wear full pro kit everywhere you go. This has its own pitfalls, alas. Namely, pro team sponsors have such a rapid turnover rate nowadays that the US$380 outfit you bought today is promoting a team that may well be defunct or disgraced next week. Which brings up a question: would anybody like to buy my 2005 Phonak, 2006 T-Mobile, or 2007 Astana jerseys? Cheap. Hardly ever worn.
Deprived of these options, then, how can you show your undying love for cycling?
By shaving your legs, of course.
By shaving your legs, you are stating, unequivocally, that you are willing to spend an extra five minutes every other day with a razor, just so you can look like other cyclists. It’s like getting a tattoo that way, except you don’t have to re-get the tattoo three times per week.
Answering the “Why?” Question
By shaving your legs, you open yourself up to the question, “why do you shave your legs?” This is an incredibly good thing, because the answers are invariably self-flattering. For example:
PS: Here’s a cool piece of news: I’ve been asked to write a monthly column for Cycling Plus, a print magazine in the UK, published by FutureNet — the same company that owns BikeRadar.com and CyclingNews. I wonder if I can get them to give me a free subscription, since I can’t afford to buy one ($98 / yr in the US).
PPS: While I was on the plane to Houston, the doctor’s office called and left a message that the MRI shows my left wrist hurts because of a torn tendon and cartilage damage and that I should call them back; they’re putting together a referral with a hand surgeon. More details after I call them today.