Ode to the Clementine

A Note from Fatty: A nudge, wink, and acknowledgement of inspiration to Gwadzilla — which I read regularly and you should too — for today’s post.

clementine O Clementine!
You are as orange
As you are spherical
You are
By far and away
The most accessible
Of all fruit

Except
Of course
For the banana

Do not lose heart, Clementine
For while — true — the banana
Is marginally easier to peel
It is in no other way your superior

You are juicier!
You are easily segmented!
You peel almost without effort!
You do not bruise nearly as easily!
My hands smell wonderful after I peel you

Above all
Your brilliant orange color
Shatters the dull grey of the winter sky

The banana cannot do that
As you well know

So let us not speak of the banana
It is as nothing compared to you

O Clementine!
You are so delicious
You are my favorite Wintertime fruit
When I browse the produce section
Of my local supermarket
My heart yearns
And I confess: I salivate copiously

Clementine, please do not think me a glutton
For purchasing a box of you nigh unto each day
And eat, and eat, and eat
As if I were a starving orangutan

I know you will not be here for long
So I get my fill of you now
You, the most exquisite of all fruit

O Clementine!
In a season full of chocolate and cookies
And miscellaneous baked goods
You are the one thing I eat without remorse
And in truth I sometimes eat you
Not as penance but perhaps as an offsetting
for culinary sins earlier in the day

Know now, Clementine
You are more to me
Than a diet food

Clementine, I love thee.
And I shall buy another box of thee
As I return from work

Thank you.

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