8 Halloween Costumes for Cyclists

A Note from Fatty: Congratulations to KatieA978, who had a story truly worthy enough of the Laser Beams of Death:

I might have used it on the idiot young man who once reached out of his car (passenger) and grabbed my seat whilst I was going up a hill out of the saddle. Luckily I had figured the car was going to do SOMETHING stupid, cause you could hear them coming a mile off. I don’t like gravel rash, and I’ve managed to avoid it most times, but I got it that day, and almost went under the wheel of their car.

Do the Laser Beams of Death come with turbo boosters so I could have caught up to them?? And who is that stupid / drunk at 10am in the morning??!!

Ignorance is irritating, and stupidity is sad, but ignorance + stupidity + evilness of this calibre doesn’t simply justify the Laser Beams of Death, it requires them.

Katie, email me your address and t-shirt size, and I’ll get you your very own Fat Cyclist T-Shirt (yes, even though I’ll have to cough up the postage to send it to Australia).

Another Note from Fatty: Halloween’s coming, which is the chocolatiest holiday of all. In my BikeRadar story today, I give you eight very handy costume ideas. You can read on for a preview of the story, or you can click here to read the whole thing.  By the way, BikeRadar’s comments section is working properly now, so feel free to post your own cycling Halloween costume idea.

8 Halloween Costume Ideas for Cyclists
As a cyclist, you are much, much better equipped for Halloween than the average person. Why? Because you already wear outrageous costumes on a daily basis.

Think about it. Even though you are a (presumably) sane adult, you wear a shirt that would look much more at home on a superhero. You wear shorts that are much, much too tight, as if you were on your way to lead a jazzercize class. You wear a hat that belongs on an alien.

And, to top the whole look off, you wear what sound and look like tap-dancing shoes.

It’s no wonder, then, that cyclists tend to be pretty lazy about dressing up for Halloween parties. Instead of putting time and money into it, you just show up in the outfit you rode to the party in. Hey, why not? A little sweat completes the effect, right?

What you don’t realize, though, is that all your friends, family and co-workers are rolling their eyes at your lack of imagination. “There goes Tim,” they say, “pretending again that his cycling outfit is a Halloween costume.”

It doesn’t have to be that way, my friend.

By spending just a few extra minutes, you can alter your cycling outfit for the evening, making it so you’re not just “a cyclist” at the party, but a very particular sort of cyclist. Simply follow these easy instructions.

Doping Cyclist: Dress up in full pro kit. Use a marker to draw needle tracks up and down one arm. Tie a length of surgical tubing above one elbow and leave a syringe sticking out of your vein. Wheel around an IV tower for the duration of the party. Stuff your jersey pockets with bottles of drugs. When anyone asks what / who you are, respond that you are a professional cyclist. When they ask what all the needles and drugs are for, say you have no idea what they’re talking about. No matter what, do not admit you have any drug-related items on hand.

Click here to continue reading 8 Halloween Costumes for Cyclists at BikeRadar.

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