Yeah, I Guess You Could Say I Have a Little Incentive to Lose Those Extra Pounds

A Note From Fatty: It’s not too late to win The Speedy — an extremely cool jersey — from Twin Six. Leave a comment in yesterday’s post and you’re automatically entered. How easy is that?

You know, it’s been a little while since I’ve talked about the Banjo Brothers’ Big Bad Bulky Biker Bodyfat Challenge (B7) — an eight-month long challenge where everyone is betting me they can do better on their weight and fitness goals than I can. For every participant, if they do better, I’ll give them a Fat Cyclist jersey. If I do better, they’ve got to give me something that we agreed upon.

Now, I fully understand that most people who read this blog haven’t entered in on the challenge. On the other hand, a lot of you have entered it, too.

A lot more than I expected to.

So, mostly for my entertainment, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version of what I can potentially win — and potentially lose — with this challenge.

What I Could Lose
Of course, there are always a few dropouts and latecomers, but right now there are 63 people who have made a bet with me and have completed their first time trial. So, suppose I did worse than everyone else who participated in this challenge. I would need to cover the cost of purchasing and shipping 63 jerseys, including a half dozen or so overseas. So, figuring $65 per jersey including average shipping costs, I am exposed to the tune of $4095.00.

Somehow, without meaning to, I seem to have developed a serious gambling problem.

Perhaps not surprisingly, my wife is cooperating with and supporting me in this diet to an heretofore unheard-of degree.

What I Could Will Win
But let’s not dwell on what I could lose. It’s much more fun to think about what I’ll win.

Cuz, you see, I could win a lot. Specifically, I could win a lot of cool stuff. And a lot of weird stuff. And a lot of food.

Here’s what I get if I beat every single person in this contest:

  • DVDs: Season 6 of 24, my choice of a season of whatever show I want from 3 different people, The Tour Baby, Chris Carmichael Training System DVD set,
  • Bike Clothes: AZ Tri Girl jersey (you know, I think I’ll give that to my sister), bike club jerseys from 3 different people, Paris-Brest-Paris 2007 jersey, Vintage USPS team kit, UC Davis Triathlon Team jersey, , University of Kentucky jersey, Twin Six Argyle jersey and matching socks, Tour of Utah King of the Mountain jersey, signed by Neal Shirley and Bob Roll, Twin Six Deluxe jersey, a British jersey, a British Virgin Isles Mountain Bike Club jersey, Oakland Firefighters cycling team kit, a smaller Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup jersey, a replica 1981 Coors Classic Leaders Jersey, a MinusCar T-shirt, a new pair of Pearl Izumi bike shorts. What will I do with all these jerseys, you may fairly ask. I plan to cover my office walls with them, as trophies to my mighty victory.
  • Other Clothes: Smartwool Midweight solid crew t-shirt, Penn State U College of Medicine sweatshirt, allowing me to walk around like I’m a doctor or something, and two t-shirts for my wife from some fancy-schmancy local artisan. I’ll wear the Smartwool shirt, I’ll hang the sweatshirt up with the jersey trophies, and I’ll let my wife decide what she’s going to do with the t-shirts.
  • Gift Certificates to my LBS: Six people have offered me gift certificates worth a total of $410 to either my local bike shop or Performance Cycling. I think I’d rather take all my business to my LBS: Racer’s Cycle Service. 
  • Race entry fees: Next year’s entry fee to the Leadville 100, Nest year’s entry fee into the Triple Bypass. Awesome. I’ve always wanted to try the Triple Bypass.
  • Bike parts: Mary bar and grips, new tires for my SS, KurtKinetics Power Computer, and a White Bros ENO SS freewheel. (I had to look up what most of these are.)
  • ITunes Certificates: A total of four people have offered me a total of $215 toward my iTunes habit.
  • Donations to charities in my name: $50 to CureAutismNow.org, $100 to Amy Gillett Foundation, and $100 to the Tyler Hamilton Foundation. Which makes me wonder: do I get to claim the tax deduction?
  • Food: A whole fresh salmon from Pike Place Fish Market and some chocolate chip cookies (hopefully in separate packages), Two live fresh lobsters, and 15 pounds of Mesquite smoked brisket. After consuming all this, I’ll be all set to launch the 2008 challenge, since I’ll be back up to my old weight. 
  • Shot Bloks: Two people have offered up Clif Shot Bloks, for a total of $125. That’s enough shot blocks for about two seasons, I think. I wonder how well they keep?
  • Stuff I can’t even pretend to categorize: Traditional Chinese Medicine pack and some freshly baked goods, an eTrex Legend GPS, $70 to spend with a night out with my family, a framed original photo of Hinault, and my hotel bill from next year’s Fall Moab. I love the idea of being out on a ride, having someone in the group getting injured, and I whip out my Traditional Chinese Medicine pack. “Wow, that bleeding looks pretty bad. I think what you need is some emergency acupuncture.”
  • Stuff from Australia: A jersey from an out-of-the-way Australian bike shop, kangaroo steaks, vegemite, a stuffed kangaroo toy, Australian chocolate (is Australia known for its chocolate), something cool and Australian, as soon as BigMikeInOz can figure out what it is.

What We’re Trying to Do, Collectively
So, guess how much we’ve collectively set as a weight loss goal.

Nope, more than that.

We are, all told, trying to lose 1895.2 pounds. That’s this close to a ton.

So, on average, we currently weigh about 204 pounds, and we’re — on average, again — trying to lose about 30 pounds, getting down to about 174 by the beginning of August.

If you ask me, we’re pretty darned ambitious. And that’s pretty darned cool.

Just in case you’re wondering, my own goal is just a tiny bit higher than the average: my goal was to go from 179.8 to 148 — a loss of 31.8 pounds.

Biggest Goal
You want to know who’s really made a big goal, though? JamesDemien, that’s who. He’s set a weight loss goal of 80 pounds. That’s 11.4 pounds per month.

Give it up for JamesDemien, folks. That’s an audacious goal, and I hope like crazy that he beats me in this challenge.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the smallest goal was made by IronMama, who is trying to lose twelve pounds. The only reason I let her in on the bet is because I found her name — IronMama — extremely intimidating.

So, How’re Things Going So Far?
This grew to be something much bigger than I originally planned on it being. And much, much cooler. I’m on track with my diet, and more focused on doing well than I ever have been before.

More importantly, though, I’m on track with my training. My coach, Robert Lofgran, is giving me great workouts that actually make my time on the trainer / rollers enjoyable. It really helps to have a stated purpose for each workout, instead of just see how long you can tolerate turning the cranks. I feel like I’ve got good progress toward a good base, and have grand visions of having my best cycling year ever.

In other words, anyone who beats me at the B7 challenge is going to have had to earn it.

Today’s weight: 173.2 (Which means my  B7 score is currently 21, for those of you who are keeping track)

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