Win a Trip for 2 to America’s Toughest Tour

Yesterday, Dug, Rick and I went on a nice little early morning ride. Starting from our respective homes (me in Alpine, Dug in Draper, Rick in Pleasant Grove), we met at the mouth of American Fork Canyon and rode to the top of the Alpine loop.

That’s 3000 feet of climbing.

We then zoomed down (I was last, by a lot), where I eventually caught up with Dug (Rick had to get home) near my house. We then continued up to the top of Suncrest (where Dug lives). That’s another 1500 feet of climbing. Then I turned around and went home.

In short: an early morning ride out my front door had 4500 feet of climbing in it.

That’s Utah for you.

A six-stage tour in this area might be downright difficult. Furthermore, it would be called the Tour of Utah—America’s Toughest Tour.

It’s going to be cooler than it has any right to be.


I’m So Excited I May Wet Myself

I’m not exactly sure how this happened, but I somehow have become the officious blogger of the Tour of Utah. What that means is that leading up to the race I’ll be interviewing some of the racers, riding some of the stages, and just generally making a nuisance of myself.

That’s pretty cool. For me. Here’s the cool part for you, though, which I will make very large and bold, so that you can see how ridiculously excited I am about this:

I get to give away a trip for two people to come see the tour.

On days like this, it’s a lot of fun being the Fat Cyclist.


What the Winners Get

Here’s what the contest winner will get:

  • Airfare for 2 (from anywhere in the US) to Utah.
  • Two nights at the Tour’s Official Hotel.
  • Weeklong VIP passes: access to the VIP tent and catering, press conferences, autograph alley, the whole nine yards.
  • Ride in an official’s car in the race caravan on one of the stages.

This is not a half-bad thing to win. Man, I wish I could win this.


How to Win

Start thinking of a 300 (maximum) word answer to the question:

What will go through the racers’ minds during the final climb of Stage 6 of the Tour of Utah?

Early next week, I’ll post a URL with information on how to enter.

Start writing!


  1. Andrew

    Well here goes:
    "Damn, it’s hot out here.
    I think my anaconda meat went totally numb.
    I really got to pee.
    That babe back there was really hot. Hope she has a sister at the finish line.
    Shoulda gone into motocross……"

  2. BIg Mike In Oz

    With relation to being last in the descending component of your recent group ride – have the LBS adjust your brakes off a little (or big) bit.  The legendary "fat" cyclist and gravity should take maximum advantage of their relationship by working together on the downhill runs.
    On the tour thing – the main thing that will be going through their minds… will be a secret until next week.

  3. James

    On topic: Elden, that’s way cool. Looks like a great race, and you should have a blast covering it. If your goal is make us all jealous, it worked.Gratuitously self-serving: The tally so far in the PMC Fat Cyclist Challenge is $380 received and $200 more pledged from 14 generous FC readers. Along with Elden’s match, that puts us more than two thirds of the way to what we’ll need for me to do up the "Fatty Rules" jersey. I’m going to need about three weeks to get it done so if you want a chance at bringing it home, please donate now. And if anybody has actual graphic arts skills and wants to give me a hand designing the thing, please drop me a line (fattyrules at jls dot cx). Otherwise, I may as well let my four-year-old draw it. Elden, you like dinosaurs?

  4. Jsun

    I had never heard of the TourOf Utah, or the Slingbox.  This is the most incredible blog in the world.  Now, how do I use this new found knowledge to take over the world.

  5. Jose

    Hey Fatty, stop blogging about the Tour of Utah and comment about Le Tour de France. It looks like Discovery is going to win by default. Nobody else is left, Ullrich, Basso, etc, etc, thanks to "Operacion Puerto".  It looks like Armstrong discovered a better way to do it.
    I don’t understand why so much noise! If everybody is doping, isn’t it a fair competition!!!!!

  6. Jose

    By the way, the riders in the 6th stage of Utah will be thinking: I should have talked to that spanish doctor, what’s his name? ahhh Fuentes, these climbs are way to hard to make ’em without EPO.

  7. Unknown

    dug and Rick must be dopers, and not the Cheech and Chong kind, to out-climb the mighty FC. Be carefull, we wouldn’t want the Dick Pound to start looking a bloggers like he does at Lance. Dick Pound – what were his parents thinking. Kinda like that old Gopher and Packer linebacker- Mike Hunt. The list goes on. Hey Bob, how about a top 5 list of stupid names ?

  8. Fat Cyclist

    boz – well, since you called attention to it, i said they out-descended me. I waited at the summit for them for 5:30. Not that I was counting.
    jose – i think 5 exclamation points was too many. that statement warranted three exclamation marks and no more. but i will comment on the tdf today. stay tuned. or do whatever the equivalent of staying tuned is in the blog world. keep refreshing your browser or stay close to your rss reader or something.

  9. Unknown

    Well then, maybe they used some super-aerodynamic dope to beat you on the descent. There has to be some un-natural or even super-natural expanation for their victory.

  10. Jose

    I don’t want to be categorized as a groupie (like Botched), but your post is brilliant, six asterisks for you, I meant six exclamation points. It’s really sad to wait one year for an event and then being deceived in such a way. I did not buy the slingshot by I paid $35 for the extended cable, only to be able to watch OLN. I feel so disappointed that I almost understand Jan, Ivan, Oscar, Francisco, Santiago, David, Joseba (he really looked like a good one, I even felt sorry for his fall), Unai, Angel (“Vicioso”, check the Spanish-English dictionary to see that I always suspected that he could not be clean), Jaksche, Carlos, Jose Enrique, ahhh Tyler!!! And Roberto!!!! I almost forgot him. “All the bad guys”; Do you know how difficult it is to stay doped the whole season? All of those shots and transfusions for nothing! Not to mention the money paid! It’s sad, really sad! I propose we forget the whole episode and concentrate in the Tour of Utah! Somebody told me that they will only allow Mormons in the tour so there is no doping at all! No offense. Is that true Fatty?

  11. Random Reviewer

    jose, that’s funny. have you read fatty’s post about his own little doping period?
    Diet Coke doesn’t count as doping, right?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *