The Best Bike Race Ever

You know, it’s a shame I’m moving next week, because on yesterday’s ride, I had an idea for the best bike race ever, in the history of…ever.

And as far as I know, right here in the Redmond, WA area may be the only place where it would actually work.

Here’s what I’m thinking.


Stage 1: Track

The race starts at the Marymoor Velodrome with sixteen laps around the track. A test of pure power.


Stage 2: Cyclocross

Staying at Marymoor park, the next stage is Cyclocross. Your transition counts as part of your total time, so you won’t want to dilly-dally. Luckily (unlike Tri), all this means is changing your equipment: your bike and (probably) your shoes. And yes, Marymoor Park really does host Cyclocross events, so this isn’t just a theoretical, convenient placement. You really could make the immediate, direct transfer from track to cyclocross. Do three laps of the course.


Stage 3: Road

Jumping off the ‘cross bike (and switching back to your road shoes) and onto your road bike, take the rolling highway 202 up to Snoqualmie Falls—the road has an excellent shoulder the whole way, so you wouldn’t even have to shut down traffic altogether. After the quick climb to Snoqualmie Falls, hang a right and climb up to the Tiger Mountain parking lot. I’m not exactly sure, but I think this is only 15 miles altogether, which will feel like plenty, considering the big climb up to Tiger Mountain (and the fact that you’ve just done a track and ‘cross race).


Stage 4: Mountain Bike

At the Tiger Mountain parking lot, swap out to your mountain bike (and do one more shoe change), then ride the graded three-mile dirt road climb (a perfect single speed climb, I’d think, if you’ve still got the legs for it), and then take the twisty, technical, excellent singletrack down to the bottom, demonstrating that there’s more to your riding ability than just a good set of legs.


There. One big bike race. Four bike disciplines. No driving between stages. It would leave you cooked in whole new ways, and demonstrate how well-rounded of a cyclist you are.

I don’t know if such a race could be managed anywhere else in the world. Maybe that’s part of why I love the idea of it.

Hey, race-promoter types: please, do this. Please. You can name it after me. Call it “Fatty’s Gauntlet.”


Today’s Weight: 163.8. That’s a net loss of 6.8 pounds since Monday. The Stunt Diet™ rules.


PS: Next week, I’ll be moving. During this time, Dug will be guest blogging. I admit I have two fears related to Dug blogging:

  • He will mess up the place. I worry that he will offend everyone and nobody will ever come back.
  • He will clean up the place. I worry that he will be much funnier and more interesting than I, and nobody will want me to ever come back.

PPS: Since I’m going to be gone and unable to look at comments next week, I’m going to wait ‘til I’m back the following week to do my MSN Free Stuff-Palooza. Thank you for your patience.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *